I feared my return to racing, and I faced that fear. I feared not being the athlete that I once was, and I’ve wrestled with my struggle to live up to those expectations in the rebuilding process.
What I haven’t talked about, however, is that there is another reason I feared returning to racing, and this one is more difficult to grapple with than worrying about sub-par race results.
I feared my own return to racing because I feared the person racing makes me.
And I didn’t want to go back to her.
For as much as I love the sport of obstacle racing, I wasn’t quite sure I actually loved the circuit of racing anymore.